Learning from Kate Gosselin

Why must fertility struggles always come with a strong dose of desperation? What good does it do for a person to become desperate? “Desperate to have a child” is a miserable place where I’ve decided not to go.

Enter the Gosselins. I have to admit that when their show first started I was a big fan. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the peculiar life that they led due to their unusual family dynamics. It was very interesting to me. Plus, the kids were adorable! Sadly, over the past few years we’ve all witnesses the sad and pathetic destruction of this family at Jon and Kate’s own hands. By the last season of the show I couldn’t stand to watch it.

Where did they go wrong? It’s really not our place to say, however, early on while listening to their story I saw a big red flag. You know, the desperation flag.

Jon and Kate were married mere weeks before trying to have a baby. Only a few months passed before they got desperate and sought the help of a fertility specialist. Their twins were born 1 year and 4 months after their wedding. What a rush! It’s not as if they were nearing the end of their childbearing years. They were only 24 and 22 when they married. Having time to just be husband and wife in the first few years of marriage is a precious thing. Too bad they missed out on that.

Desperation seems to negate a person’s ability to wait with patience. Along with the waiting comes the grace to handle the blessing when it comes.

I believe Josh and I have been able to avoid the desperation trap because we are so firmly planted in the faith that God has everything under control! We’re being diligent to pursue the path that He puts before us. Step by step He gives us guidance, wisdom, and comfort. Sure, I really want to be a mom by age 30 (coming very soon!) but it’s not my plan that matters. I KNOW that God has the best possible plans in store for you (and me), but you just need to calm the heck down! Focus on being a godly, loving, unselfish person. Let God bring the blessings to you.

Disclaimer: I am not in any way against fertility treatments. There is also a very practical side of fertility issues. People have to DO something (pursue adoption, fertility treatments, etc.)! In this post I am encouraging people to be patient and have a peaceful attitude when facing these issues.